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I'm tempted to reiterate the proposal not to come, if it makes you feel calmer.
Why is important is not the ticket you.
But I fear that you will accept, and I want to see you .

My heart in my throat and my mind elsewhere. Too much fear and too many illogical thoughts. I would dissolve.
Yet nothing in the world could accept.
Because I too, want to see you .

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October 20, 2009 ...

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The most beautiful things I have chosen to live are the ones that knew no future whatsoever. Needless to tell
balls, hope that something will change, a God who is involved whatsoever.
There are no solutions for me, I know, but I still believe, still hope.
Affection is the only thing that I follow now: Love seems to be prevented and myself, amen. Needless to continue fighting against the windmills.
I carry inside a kitchen where you feel anger, pain and screams, which are broken plates and glasses and I'm there, helpless, then as now: There will be new towns, a move or a new job and change my , to stop the pain.

Only I can.
It does not always succeed. I can not always.

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be with you, be with you, makes me feel at home. Maybe a bit 'scattered, maybe not as good as I would always appear ... But at home. Protected, promoted and accepted.
When I get to that bell will soon be identically equal to mine, I feel like my life is suddenly put in order. And that's why I get so vehement when something bothers you, when there are things that are not in my power to control who can hurt you, make you feel bad.
I hung your picture next to that of my parents' photos in which you are happy, with joy in their eyes. I would always like to see you, I wish I could be a source of joy and pride.

with you, aunt, everything was simple, natural. With his uncle, I was there wanted more time: too afraid of his opinion, and too afraid to even say the word itself, uncle.
Yet we did it. I always knew that we'd been in trouble for me and I have always wished to be there-and-be enough for you.
'll never be able to explain that thread that connects my heart to yours.
But I am for you and you are to me, and when I embrace you, I know you hear it.

I love you so much, your niece

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There is this constant sound of rain outside and inside of me. A red sweater to protect them. But I postpone any
mirror to your own life cutting of an eye, your air lost from a perennial child offense.

are not adult enough to save you, but I would not have practical solutions that do not involve my total and absolute surrender. Sure I could call you tomorrow, say "Come, let us go, I protect you" and believe me, I would give my life to do so. No, not true, chin, and the truth is all here, I do not feel like sacrifice everything in your name.
How could I keep, help you, being your support? How could I carry on your way when you have hardly started on my own?

I tried everything. I hoped that someone save us but I failed, Mom, I'm sorry. Sorry for not having helped, if you can forgive me for my selfishness, of my independence, my not hear your cries for help. I live in this world too true that seeks a solution for everything: who does not find, those who do not may have, simply succumb.

I loved you so much even though I have not been able to prove it as I should. This evening, I cry and I adore you, with these our half miles between me and your teeth "So I always lead me." I would only save you, without being able to be near you I die, to be able to give you everything, everything everything I wanted from you, Mom.

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Even today, someone has done to remember that the My job is also to humiliate me for free from any creative world of the universe, including the most unworthy of such a definition. Fortunately
not limited to this.
There are times when all this weighs on me a lot.

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Today I saw your first picture. You seem to be protecting the Great Bear.
He has the air of the newborn. A beautiful baby, with so many blacks hair, dark brown.

I remember roughly when you were trying to take care of me too: I remember that day when we decided, together, at the same moment, expecting nothing more life outside of our home, but to throw, serene, decided fearless, courageous, stubborn, naive perhaps.
We went away in the sun, smiling, still believing, always believing.

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"walk away, walk with him, perhaps expecting a baby"

In small tub we expected the test results, that the disappointment of those who was not an accident, it was love .
Do not worry, come, come.
still believed, always believing.

Cats came away with me. You married a year after: in the office I looked at your photos, remember the envy to see that your little hint of belly. I wanted to hug you.
still believed, always believing.

And now you have that baby in my arms and I wonder when lawfully truly will choose to move forward, to go further, to stop back on my feet, a pilgrim myself, always hide the flaws, not to notice the merits.
I wonder if and when ever I am ready to do something beautiful, unique, important, irrevocable right to full and eternal and absolute. When I am ready to pay serious about my own pocket.
still believed, always believing.

Years pass for me, I still feel the bite of the race, but more mild.
Perhaps in the end you stop again, you can expect: perhaps it is a circle which ends today, ready to begin again, at least for me.
still believed, always believing.

I know that you laugh about all this, I would say be patient, to pass the time, to concentrate on really important things.
I'll try, I swear, I try.
But not enough , and you know it.
Maybe these are goals I believe in, but that will never be truly mine.
Maybe one day I could write such a thing without crying.

still believed, always believing.
Happy Birthday, Mom .

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Jump to publish on tumblr images of the campaign in my company. Well, very good.
But tell me, exactly, how do they like?

And I think I could forget that.