Thursday, December 24, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
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I spend days to let it drift, waiting for a change, a change that never comes.
I spend days to sleep and dreams have a much greater consistency of reality.
I love my life and I learned to love these too empty for me as I care for a child out of control, I let go, sooner or later get tired.
Sooner or later I get tired. In fact, sleep and dreams
comfort me.
not regret the past but still seeking a future, each day is the first of a new life but I always take forward the same day, the same unhealthy habits, the same loss of time, the same anger that catches me morning and evening: nausea, dizziness. I shook my head, resigned to me. If you really want to change things simply, I would change. But there's my
twenty-nine years and I no longer see the prospects that I thought I wanted, but only a vague, indistinct discomfort .
The reaction, my reaction is still hiding: there are temporary positions, small efforts, until the round begins again. Let's face it: for years that this continuing mantrugiare has lost its charm.
I tried other things but they are not made for them, but just to continue to escape, to continue to let them drift, waiting for a change, a turning point, which never comes.
Friday, November 20, 2009
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Like a swarm of insects thoughts crowd the mind, without any possibility of rest.
night like any other, interrupted by the thought of losing something that is constructed.
Faure meaningless.
indescribable sensation envelop his mind.
breath, take my time. I open my eyes. And his eyes are there, fearful and careful observers, to be my shield against invisible enemies.
breathe again, take my time.
I shake the thoughts you are strong.
I get up, I relax.
few minutes to wander in search of peace. Slow breathing. Adjust. Session to calm the pace.
And then, everything that comes to mind.
That fear that the heart was not saying that everything is not true.
slow breath. Conscious of what was concealed.
Vivid dream still really slow.
Army of calm and certainty, expect that my body responds to mind.
Torno. His inquisitive eyes, tense and worried. A caress. A smile.
Dreams. Mirror of thoughts. But sweet is the reality of my world. And fear can not scratch.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
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Night made of smoke and lots of water, made up of memories that night making me mingle heart beat faster. Night of words and echo of laughter, this house seems empty and abandoned in chaos, I wander like a ghost looking for, hoping to sleep a thousand miles from here, hoping that you, thinking of all this, I have the same smile idiot and uncertain. The smile of those who suffered and those who nevertheless want to believe it. I look in the mirror and after months-after-years I feel alive, ready, ready for anything provided that all is well your . Night
searches made of odors, moments so vivid as to be to be present but, in fact, already mentioned: to reconstruct in my mind all that has happened is impossible, because what happened is impossible, what is of another planet as you would say, is something to dream as I would say.
Impossible, impossible, impossible. Yet we have laid a small slender thread, heart to heart, and tonight I will limit myself to listen in silence, confused and terribly happy but quiet, this dialogue that takes my sleep and breathing, this box continues for days between you and me.
Between you and me, between us, because now, whatever happens, I believe, There is us.
Monday, October 26, 2009
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I'm tempted to reiterate the proposal not to come, if it makes you feel calmer.
Why is important is not the ticket you.
But I fear that you will accept, and I want to see you .
My heart in my throat and my mind elsewhere. Too much fear and too many illogical thoughts. I would dissolve.
Yet nothing in the world could accept.
Because I too, want to see you .
Sunday, October 25, 2009
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The most beautiful things I have chosen to live are the ones that knew no future whatsoever. Needless to tell
balls, hope that something will change, a God who is involved whatsoever.
There are no solutions for me, I know, but I still believe, still hope.
Affection is the only thing that I follow now: Love seems to be prevented and myself, amen. Needless to continue fighting against the windmills.
I carry inside a kitchen where you feel anger, pain and screams, which are broken plates and glasses and I'm there, helpless, then as now: There will be new towns, a move or a new job and change my , to stop the pain.
Only I can.
It does not always succeed. I can not always.
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be with you, be with you, makes me feel at home. Maybe a bit 'scattered, maybe not as good as I would always appear ... But at home. Protected, promoted and accepted.
When I get to that bell will soon be identically equal to mine, I feel like my life is suddenly put in order. And that's why I get so vehement when something bothers you, when there are things that are not in my power to control who can hurt you, make you feel bad.
I hung your picture next to that of my parents' photos in which you are happy, with joy in their eyes. I would always like to see you, I wish I could be a source of joy and pride.
with you, aunt, everything was simple, natural. With his uncle, I was there wanted more time: too afraid of his opinion, and too afraid to even say the word itself, uncle.
Yet we did it. I always knew that we'd been in trouble for me and I have always wished to be there-and-be enough for you.
'll never be able to explain that thread that connects my heart to yours.
But I am for you and you are to me, and when I embrace you, I know you hear it.
I love you so much, your niece
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
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mirror to your own life cutting of an eye, your air lost from a perennial child offense.
are not adult enough to save you, but I would not have practical solutions that do not involve my total and absolute surrender. Sure I could call you tomorrow, say "Come, let us go, I protect you" and believe me, I would give my life to do so. No, not true, chin, and the truth is all here, I do not feel like sacrifice everything in your name.
How could I keep, help you, being your support? How could I carry on your way when you have hardly started on my own?
I tried everything. I hoped that someone save us but I failed, Mom, I'm sorry. Sorry for not having helped, if you can forgive me for my selfishness, of my independence, my not hear your cries for help. I live in this world too true that seeks a solution for everything: who does not find, those who do not may have, simply succumb.
I loved you so much even though I have not been able to prove it as I should. This evening, I cry and I adore you, with these our half miles between me and your teeth "So I always lead me." I would only save you, without being able to be near you I die, to be able to give you everything, everything everything I wanted from you, Mom.
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Even today, someone has done to remember that the My job is also to humiliate me for free from any creative world of the universe, including the most unworthy of such a definition. Fortunately
not limited to this.
There are times when all this weighs on me a lot.
Monday, October 19, 2009
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Today I saw your first picture. You seem to be protecting the Great Bear.
He has the air of the newborn. A beautiful baby, with so many blacks hair, dark brown.
I remember roughly when you were trying to take care of me too: I remember that day when we decided, together, at the same moment, expecting nothing more life outside of our home, but to throw, serene, decided fearless, courageous, stubborn, naive perhaps.
We went away in the sun, smiling, still believing, always believing.
"I go away, give up everything, I go to Africa" \u200b\u200b
"walk away, walk with him, perhaps expecting a baby"
In small tub we expected the test results, that the disappointment of those who was not an accident, it was love .
Do not worry, come, come.
still believed, always believing.
Cats came away with me. You married a year after: in the office I looked at your photos, remember the envy to see that your little hint of belly. I wanted to hug you.
still believed, always believing.
And now you have that baby in my arms and I wonder when lawfully truly will choose to move forward, to go further, to stop back on my feet, a pilgrim myself, always hide the flaws, not to notice the merits.
I wonder if and when ever I am ready to do something beautiful, unique, important, irrevocable right to full and eternal and absolute. When I am ready to pay serious about my own pocket.
still believed, always believing.
Years pass for me, I still feel the bite of the race, but more mild.
Perhaps in the end you stop again, you can expect: perhaps it is a circle which ends today, ready to begin again, at least for me.
still believed, always believing.
I know that you laugh about all this, I would say be patient, to pass the time, to concentrate on really important things.
I'll try, I swear, I try.
But not enough , and you know it.
Maybe these are goals I believe in, but that will never be truly mine.
Maybe one day I could write such a thing without crying.
still believed, always believing.
Happy Birthday, Mom .
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
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Jump to publish on tumblr images of the campaign in my company. Well, very good.
But tell me, exactly, how do they like?
And I think I could forget that.
Friday, September 25, 2009
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CDA!
To start with ...
And every so often thought back to how it would be ... if ...
I wish people were as mature to understand their mistakes and not to the victims who is mulling the world that goes against them ... and not make mistakes ...
I wish I had the opportunity to speak with whoever I want without fear of breaking some balance that has been formed ... I
... but I can not ... because I was not allowed
And then I look at what I have now ...
the wonderful life I have now ... Now I think to myself
us and what is growing ...
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
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that you are in a desert or in a big city.
And when these two people meet and their eyes lock
all the past and all of the future no longer have any importance.
There is only that moment and that extraordinary certainty that everything under the sun,
were written by the same hand, the hand that awakens love
and created a soulmate for everyone works, rests and look for treasures under the sun, because if anything did not exist they would not make any sense of humanity's dreams ...
By the River Piedra - Coehlo
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The happiness you create ... you build the ...
I'm building ...
Serenity is the time
I'm tasting
Life is created and the model according to our dreams I'm living
Monday, June 15, 2009
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keep chasing me.
constant insecurity that makes my uncertain steps. Each step is proud and determined that the subsequent collapse of the tottering shaking my insecurity.
I can not understand why then.
Why you can not go forward with your eyes closed? Why you can not simply decide to be happy? Why we can not take for granted the knowledge among people and that emotions trasudino second unambiguous codes? It would be much simpler ...
Friday, May 15, 2009
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So much so that I do not write .... at least here ...
And there are even a little round case.
And to say only one thing ..
The past comes back ... this settles the future .. I'm building.
I feel happy. I'm really happy. I wish people who know me for so long, and
with whom I have never shared anything in a while ... they were a small part of me happy.
That claim, some might say, and I know someone will tell.
But it would be nice.
can not say, but beautiful.
Now I continue to run and chase what I want to become my life.
With whom I found, with whom I recognized, by those who know me feel the best thing that ever happened, and for this rare and special.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
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New perspectives, new horizons. Such fear and the latest trial in sight.
'm scared to start over, scared to be alone to deal with that.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
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Were Lying down on the bed and lets you go
How We spent so adrift
Through rugged ways
Days of monotony
Both
on your lips The moments
are intensely lived off
Being with you was the delirium
a story Of our
And I fell in love with extreme diversity
Obsessively
To destroy
"Hold me" she whispered plan
"Dear Love"
Days of immense wonder
And days of captivity
between us
Then the deluge broke
Lux Eterna Domino We spent so Excelsis Deo
Through rugged ways
Days of monotony
Both
on your lips The moments I
intensely lived with me I'm off
between us
I chose me
Friday, February 6, 2009
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Looking out the door I see the rain fall upon the funeral mourners
Parading in a wake of sad relations as their shoes fill up with water
Maybe I'm too young to keep good love from going wrong
But tonight you're on my mind so you never know
Broken down and hungry for your love, with no way to feed it
Where are you tonight, charge you know how much I need it?
Too young to hold on and too old to just break free and run
Sometimes a man he gets carried away,
When he feels like he should be having his fun
And he's much too blind to see the damage he's done
Sometimes a man must awake to find that really he has no one
So I'll wait for you, and I'll burn
Will I ever see your sweet return?
Oh, will I ever learn?
Oh lover, you should've come over
It's not too late
Lonely is the room, the bed is made, the open window lets the rain in
Burning in the corner is the only one who choose he had you with him
My body turns and yearns for a sleep that will never come
It's never over, my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder
It's never over, all my riches for her smiles when I slept so soft against her
It's never over, all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter
It's never over, she's the tear that hangs inside my soul forever
Maybe I'm just too young to keep good love from going wrong
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh lover, you should've come over
I felt too young to hold on and much too old to break free and run
Too much blind to see the damage that I'm done
Oh lover, you should've come over
Well I love and I wait for you
Lover, oh lover, lover, lover
Oh Lover, You Should've Come Over
'Cause it's not too late
Looking out the door I see the rain falling on the people attending the funeral march in mourning
What showing a network of sad relations as their shoes drenched in rain
Maybe I'm too young to prevent a failed relationship
But tonight you're on my mind as I would never imagine
destroyed and I'm hungry for your love, with no possibility of saziarmene
Where six-night, do not make their own account of what I need you?
I'm too young to hold on and too old to run freely and
Sometimes a man gets carried away,
When do you absolutely have to have fun at any cost
And it's always too blind to realize the damage they cause
Sometimes a man must awake to realize that they really have no one at his side
So you wait, and burn
'll never see your sweet return,
Or will I ever learn?
Oh love, you should've come
not too late
The room is lonely, the bed is made, the open window lets the rain in a corner
burns only he had chosen to keep you with him My body shakes
and yearns for a sleep that will never
It's never over, My kingdom for a kiss on her shoulder
It's never over, all my riches for her smiles when I fall asleep at her tenderly
It's never over, all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter It's never
over, she is the tear that will continue to flow into me forever
Maybe I'm just too young to prevent a failed relationship
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you should've come
I feel too young to hold on and too old to really get rid of it and escape
It's really too, too blind to understand the evil that I made
Oh love, you should've come
Love, oh love, love, love
So now I love you, and you look
Oh love, you should've come
Because it is not too late
Thursday, February 5, 2009
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41 shots ... 41 shots ... 41 shots ... 41 shots ... 41 shots ... 41 shots ... 41 shots 41 shots
And we'll take that ride 'Cross this bloody river
To the other side
41 shots
Cut trought the night
You're kneeling over his body in the vestibule
Praying for his life
Is it a gun, is it a knife
Is it a wallet, this is your life
It ain't no secret
It ain't no secret
No secret my friend
You can get killed just for living
In your American skin
41 shots
Lena gets her son ready for school
She says "On these streets, Charles
You've got to understand the rules
If an officer stops you
Promise you'll always be polite,
That you'll never ever run away
Promise Mama you'll keep your hands in sight"
Is it a gun, is it a knife
Is it a wallet, this is your life
It ain't no secret
It ain't no secret
No secret my friend
You can get killed just for living
In your American skin
Is it a gun, is it a knife
Is it in your heart, is it in your eyes
It ain't no secret
41 shots
And we'll take that ride
'Cross this bloody river
To the other side
41 shots
Got my boots caked in this mud
We're baptized in these waters and each other's blood
Is it a gun, is it a knife
Is it a wallet, this is your life
It ain't no secret
It ain't no secret
No secret my friend
You can get killed just for living
In your American skin
41 shots ... 41 shots ... 41 shots ... 41 shots ... 41 shots ... 41 shots ... 41 shots ...
41 shots
Taking that road crossing this river of blood
To get to the other side 41 shots
Spezzano night
're kneeling over his body at home praying for his life
It 's a gun , is a knife
E 'portfolio, this is your life There's no secret
There's no secret No secret my friend
You can get killed just because you're living in your American skin
41 shots Lena prepares her son to school
says, "Going down the street, Charles
You have to learn that there are rules
If a cop stops you
Promise you'll always be polite, not run away What
never promise my mother that you keep your hands in sight"
It 's a gun, a knife is
E' portfolio, this is your life There's no secret
There's no secret No secret my friend
You can get killed just because you're alive In your American skin
It 's a gun, a knife is
' s in your heart, in your eyes It's no secret
41 shots
Taking that road crossing this river of blood to reach the other side
41 shots
now I have his boots caked with this mud
We were baptized in these waters and in the blood other
It 's a gun, a knife is
E' portfolio, this is your life There's no secret
There's no secret No secret, my friend My
You can get killed just because you're living in your American skin
February 4 Amadou Bailo Diallo 1999, Liberian student of twenty-three, was killed in controversial circumstances by four police officers of NYPD Directions Crimes Unit.
The accident occurred at the 1157 Wheeler Avenue in a section of the Bronx. In a routine search of a rapist that could match the appearance of Diallo, the four police officers Edward McMellon, Sean Carroll, Kenneth Boss and Richard Murphy Diallo demanded to be recognized. Diallo put his hands in his pocket and the police, thinking about the draw of a gun, fired. Exploded 41 shots, hitting Diallo 9 times. The scandal that hit the department was born from the fact that Diallo had no gun on him, only the portfolio, it can be assumed, Diallo wanted to pull out to show their documents. In addition, the incredible amount of shots fired at the cops were accused of U.S. brutality, racism and ease of use of weapons was further aggravated by the investigations it was discovered that the policeman did not explode Edward McMellon a shot, thereby increasing the average shots fired by the other three colleagues. Diallo's death brought to light several issues related to uncontrolled immigration, had quit in April 2002 the unit Directions Crimes and the department had to compensate the families with three million dollars (for a demand equal to eighty million dollars). The campaign for the election of the Mayor of New York in 2005 was hard fought on the facts that occurred in Diallo: Fernando Ferrer, candidate for the constituency of the Bronx spoke of the tragic accident completely exonerate the actions of four police officers, who also did, after many trials and appeals, found innocent 25 February 2000 on charges of second-degree murder and dangerous behavior.
(source: Wikipedia)
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
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Where Were You When I was burned and broken? While the
days slipped by from my window watching
Where were you when I was hurt and helpless?
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun
Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of lifeand the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime
I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment HAD Arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life
I Took a heavenly ride through
Our silence I knew the waiting HAD Begun
And headed straight Into the shining
sun
Where were you when I was burned and broken? As I left
scroll the day, watching from my window
Where were you when I was hurt, when I was defenseless?
Because everything you said you were doing and I destroyed
While you were hanging on the opinion of someone else,
Dying to believe anything that you were let through
I the sun shining
Lost in thought and lost in time, in every part of the universe
While they continued to be planted the seeds of life and change,
out for me the rain fell dark and slow While
lingered in this dangerous but irresistible
pastime I took a trip through our deep silence
In that silence I felt it was time to kill the
past and return to life
I embarked on a journey deep through our silence
I realized that for me was the wait
And I live safe
Through the sun shining
Sunday, February 1, 2009
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How do you now that you're the only remaining hope for
A
something better to think also of great love
you an incurable romantic
A little 'hysterical But nice
course only.
How are you doing now that he
There is also no longer with you
that he had big things on my mind
He then one day like nothing has said "Enough" You are an incredible romantic
A little 'neurotic
But not only pathetic
course
course only.
Friday, January 30, 2009
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Of course, I'd feel good. I wish that everything could turn off a switch, or even just a little bit of commitment. But no.
There are energies that do not return and feelings that are not exhausted. There are moments of complete closure, and how much effort to get me out for a moment, how much effort to get out and how much will come again if I continue to delay the recovery.
shooting. If I think of how many legs are hanging on at the moment, cold sweat at the thought of dovermene second. But they are only masks, just another fiction. The truth is that
I feel bad though, there are no cigarettes drops work fast fatigue insomnia that can make this change complete uncertainty, this drag day without any goal.
they are completely and perfectly free. Yes, but I've always had a horror of emptiness and horror of the little pastimes built specifically to see these moments do not happen at all in which life is not exactly the best.
Of course, I'd feel good. I would like all of a sudden I passed all anxiety, all sense of guilt, anger and uncertainty. I wish I could just pretend to have a goal in life: sometimes I think it's possible, but I can not always. Even that, it costs a lot of effort.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
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When I need you, it happens that you're not there
Too much confidence ruin love and now you're a mystery
not happen again to come back to the three
And I fall asleep without you
Yet you know that I need so much love but
not happen again so I say to make you happy and I think
not happen again, because I love you so much but not
I dartene more, and I think a little 'me
look around, it is night, if you decide
day without you
not happen more, at least for me, to love those who fly too
not happen again, have you if it means being alone
not happen again to come back at three and I fall asleep without
not happen more die for your absence.
(defending changed for you I'd
but I see us like this, always tell you so.
.. You were and always will be the six
The woman that I wanted and that I
not happen again I go back to the three
And you fall asleep without me, will not happen again
love you I have given so much ...)
When I need you, it happens that you're not there
look around, it is night, if it is day
And do not talk about it anymore ...
not happen again so I say to make you happy and I think
not happen again to come back to the three
And I fall asleep without you
(When you need me that happens to you . ..
When you need me that happens to you ...)
not happen again I say yes to make you happy and I think
not happen again, because I love you so but ...
Without detracting from the authors, I think more like the version of the noble artist Di Gennaro Cosmo Parlato: a genius who every morning with his performance, he manages to tear a smile.
Monday, January 19, 2009
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Anyone who knows me knows that I hate to think of a particular place inside ... especially when there is someone I know ....
Imagine if I had to go to dinner at a place like this ....
But I was not the only one ....
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thing is not turning on the network ....
Sunday, January 18, 2009
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I think he can be summarized in three simple words ...
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And then you look back ...
and you see some way you have done ...
eyes will be opened at last and see how far you still have to go ...
Tanta .... really .... and it's nice to think not follow it herself.
It 'nice to think that if you close your eyes for a moment, one step after another, do not try uncertainty ...
Being able to walk, alone, but without being one.
be able to ask for help if needed.
not having to do with the anxiety of not being able to finish or fail to accomplish what they set out .... the "can not do that" it is permitted to ask for help also .... ...
It is not easy when you can say it is so hard on yourself will not admit such a thing.
should learn to love each other a little bit more ... should be more lenient with themselves ... it is not easy, but you should try at least to have some breathing in his own life they can look in the mirror and say, "ok that's okay, it's not so bad"
The beauty? E 'to realize that it really is possible ... and you do not have to look after others if not yourself, you have to learn to love, to really appreciate the way down and the others.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
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What we expect from others?
It 's a question I have asked many times.
expected something ... but why? Why do not we can go forward without the help of others, without a pat on the back without a hug ... "the other" must give us something in return?
It 'hard ...
difficult to explain what the feeling. Difficult to truly realize what this means.
You are in front of someone you know, just a game ... you say stupid things and you expect the person to answer in a certain way .... and it is not so .... so what are you doing? Laugh? You get angry? Do not play any more because "the other child does not play by your rules "?... or simply take note of the fact that things are going for you in a certain way, they know of some substance, the perceived differently from anyone else. .. by anyone ... even by those who say they feel your own emotions.
And then you go back to the original question ...
What is expected from the others ...
One should not expect anything, not to be disappointed, one should not expect anything to avoid brooding over then, we should not expect anything because what comes then is really something that you would never have suspected would happen.
A rambling way of saying that maybe sometimes we are wrong. It is sometimes misunderstood. Sometimes ...
Monday, January 5, 2009
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How many times have you found yourself in front of a blank sheet of paper with the desire to fill it with letters, words and then sentences that were racing in mind ...
How many times in front of that same page you've been real estate, without being able to express what was moving within you at that moment ...
fleeting words are those that try to climb in my mind, feelings remain unexpressed, revelations not educated, glances off.
But we must go on.
And 'a must.
The world is constantly changing ... and we are inside.
would be nice to pause a moment to look back with equanimity.
would be nice to turn around and see that things have not gone bad.
would be nice to be able to trust people unconditionally.
would be nice to feel reassured, but also safe.
would be nice to have everything clear.
would be nice ...